Oldie fic #1: Hidden Emotions
Jun. 22nd, 2007 04:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
measiWell... in honor of the new permanent account, I'm dredging up the old stuff and putting over here, since it's, well... permanent and all. And since I'll be adding other fic, it just makes sense.
God, I was such a sappy college student. Seriously. And WTF is my addiction with internal monologues? *snort* Funny, though - the restaurant is still there. I ate there about six months ago - and remembered this fic. India Quality in Kenmore is still better, but Kashmir isn't too bad.
Anyway, since this has never been tagged before...
Story: Hidden Emotions
Author: Measi
Characters: Mulder/Scully
Rating: PG-13ish... barely ish.
Disclaimer: Ten-Thirteen yadda yadda yadda - original under the cut.
Summary: sap, sap, sappidy sap sap.
From: mkent@bu.edu (Melissa Kent)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative
Subject: New Story: Hidden Emotions
Date: 25 Apr 1995 03:57:53 GMT
Usual disclaimers here-the X-Files, Scully, and Mulder are Chris Carter's. The story is my own. Anyone can distribute it freely as long as my name remains on it and no money is made off of it without me getting a part =).
This story doesn't contain sex, but is kinda mushy- romantic=). There is a slight bit of swearing, as well, so if this isn't your thing, please back out now=). This is my first attempt at fanfic ever (so please be gentle.... I'm a bit over-sensitive), so I would like any suggestions on how to improve it. Write to me at: mkent@acs.bu.edu. Enjoy! -Melissa
Hidden Emotions
by Melissa Kent
mkent@acs.bu.edu
4/24/95
Dana Scully sat staring at her computer screen, lost in a random daydream. Her entire week had been stressful, and she just wanted to go home and forget the last hour before the weekend began. She was sick of work, sick of schedules.
She needed a break.
The beep of the on-screen clock when the four o'clock hour arrived snapped her back to reality. She *had * to get this report done *today. * She didn't want to have any work to finish over the weekend.
Why can't I concentrate today? she wondered, sighing in frustration.
The door opened and Mulder walked in, munching on sunflower seeds.
"You look thrilled, Scully," he said sarcastically when he noticed her expression.
She nodded. "Yeah. Real thrilled. I just can't seem to get this report done."
Mulder leaned against his desk and crossed his arms.
"Anything wrong?"
"Nothing serious. I just really need a break."
"So go home early," he said, shrugging.
She shook her head.
"No. I don't want to bring anything home with me this weekend. I don't want to have to worry about anything this weekend. I just want to relax, have nothing to do, and just...well, veg out for a while."
Mulder grinned. "Veg out? Gee, there's a phrase I'd never expect from you."
"I'm full of surprises."
Mulder nodded, impressed.
"So do you need help on it? All of the cataloging is done for the week, and nothing came up today. What do you have left?"
Scully picked up five sheets of paper.
"Just these. I just need to make reports out of them."
Mulder took them and skimmed through each, walking back to his desk. He turned on his computer and sat down.
"Okay. No problem. You work on that one, and I'll start on these, and we'll get through them, okay?" he said.
She nodded with a slight smile, and turned back to her screen. The cursor just kept blinking. blink......blink.......blink. Dana...come on. Snap out of it. Just get it done. Only one page left, and everything's right in front of you. Come on. She typed a few words and stopped again for a moment before Mulder interrupted her.
"Hey-are you sure you're okay, Scully?"
She sighed. "Yeah. I'm just tired, Mulder."
He got up and walked over to her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he looked at what she had typed.
"Looks fine to me. Go home."
"Mulder, it's not done. I..."
"Go home, Scully. I'll finish them. You need to take a break. Don't worry about it," he said, trying to make himself sound as forceful as possible without insulting her.
Scully ran her right hand through her hair and sighed again. She knew he was right. She needed the break. But she didn't want to leave her work unfinished for the week. She hated leaving things unfinished.
"No. I'll get it done. Just make sure I don't drift off, okay?"
Mulder shrugged again.
"Fine. Fine. Gee, you are so stubborn sometimes."
She grinned up at him, receiving a rolled-eye response from Mulder that was almost the same as the ones she had given him so many times for being pigheaded. She laughed inwardly, and returned to her screen.
The rest of the report went smoothly. Once she finished another paragraph, she felt it looked right. She ran her word processor's spell-check, and set the pages up to print.
"How are you doing?" she asked, turning to Mulder.
He spun around to face her. "Fine. Two of these really aren't ready to be typed up yet. I wanted to talk to Skinner about them on Monday. The other ones I'll get done later. But the long one's done."
"Good. What time is it?"
"Quarter to five. You done?"
"Yeah, finally. It's printing, and then I'll take off."
She walked over to the printer, took the pages from the collecting tray, and placed them back in their case folder. Then she switched off her computer and got her things together.
"Okay, I'm going. I'll see you Monday.
He nodded. "See you later."
Scully left the room, feeling the weight of the week's events disappear with each step toward the stairs.
***
Mulder leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling in thought. He was worried about Scully. Really worried. Lately she had seemed so stressed out and distant. He wondered if the recent cases were starting to get to her. No, he knew they were starting to get to her. Hell, in one year she had been kidnapped and chained to a radiator, had Tooms try to kill her in her bathroom, been abducted without memory of what happened while she was gone, and then encountered Pfaster.
And finally had been overwhelmed.
Mulder remembered taking her into his arms at Pfasters house, letting her release the fear, the anger. He hadn't said anything, but he had been there for her when she needed him. And that made him feel closer to her than he had been to anyone else in a long time. But he was still worried that she needed to get away from the X-Files because they were affecting her so personally.
He rolled out of his chair and paced the room as he tried to figure out what to do. He continued back and forth in frustration, running his hand through his hair. And then an idea came to him.
***
Scully locked the door to her apartment with a decisive click. She was home for the weekend, away from all of the horrifying and paranormal events that she had to deal with for over forty hours a week. She wanted to get away from everything for the next two and a half days and forget the events that bothered her so much.
She proceeded to the kitchen and filled the teapot with water. A soothing mug of herbal tea and a romantic movie was exactly what she wanted and needed to relax. She turned on the burner and put the teapot on it before finding a movie to watch.
Yeah. That sounds good. I need something funny. When Harry Met Sally is perfect for this. Or do I want to watch Sleepless in Seattle? Oh, what the hell, I'll watch both, she thought as she skim read the titles on her bookshelf.
The teapot whistled, and she hurried back to the kitchen. She grabbed her favorite mug, an off-white one with rose-colored hearts that she had received in college from her mom as the vase of an FTD floral arrangement. She picked out a packet of mint tea, placed it in the mug, and carefully poured some of the steaming water over it. The smell was wonderful---a fresh cup of mint tea always had a clean fragrance about it that relaxed her and cleared her head of all of her problems.
She sighed, contented that the weekend was starting, and returned to the living room. She put the tape of When Harry Met Sally in the VCR and plopped onto the couch, sinking into the pillows.
Then the phone rang.
Irritated at the interruption, she paused the tape and muted the TV. She picked up the cordless phone and plopped back onto the couch.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Scully. Do you want to do something together tonight?"
Mulder was concerned about her. She could tell by the underlying worry behind the pleasantness in his voice. She really didn't feel like going out, but maybe forcing herself to do something to keep occupied would help her relax. She bit her lip before responding.
"Um...what do you have in mind?"
"Dinner and a movie. There's a new Indian restaurant near my place that I've needed an excuse to go to. You up to it?"
She smiled and paused again to think. Why not? Mulder's offering food that actually is food and not that fast food stuff we're always eating.
"Yeah, I guess so. When?"
She swore she heard him sigh in relief.
"Pick you up in a half hour."
"Okay. Oh...is this dressy or casual?"
"Definitely casual. In fact, Sunday afternoon t-shirt and jeans is probably the best way to go. Curry has a habit of making a fascinating stain that never ends on clothes."
Scully chuckled inwardly. As time had passed with them working together, she had begun to accept and even appreciate his dry humor.
"Okay. See you in about thirty minutes," Mulder said over the phone, a slight hint of excitement in his voice before he hung up.
Scully softly returned the phone to the charging unit. Mulder was taking her out for dinner. No, Dana. He's taking you out on a date. How long has it been since you've been on an honest-to-God date? She was excited, nervous... she felt like she was a teenager who'd just been asked out for the first time. What was she going to wear? He said that it was a jeans and t-shirt type date, but should she dress a little nicer anyway? She thumbed through the hangers in her closet, and finally decided on a oversized black thermal shirt and jeans. She changed quickly and glanced back at the clock. Five minutes until he arrived. Relax, Dana. It's only Mulder. That was the problem, she realized. It was *Mulder. * Not some random person she had met. This was her partner, who she spent almost all of her time with.
She let her mind wander through romantic fantasies about her partner as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. Dana, stop it. It's Mulder, remember? You do have to work with him again after tonight. You're not a teenager anymore. Act like an adult, will you? She giggled a little, looking at herself in the mirror. She even looked like teenager with her hair up and the relaxed-look clothes.
She heard the pause on the TV go off, and the talk show on the channel blast through the apartment. She rushed over to it and switched it off, experiencing a momentary ringing in her ears once the silence returned. She noticed the still-full cup on tea on the coffee table and picked it up to finish it. The liquid was now lukewarm, and tasted bitter because the teabag was still in the mug. She gulped down most of it, but decided to pour the last third into the sink.
Two soft knocks on the front door made her heart begin to pound. She took a deep breath and walked over to the door. Why was she so nervous? Was it because of Mulder? She knew she had developed a strong friendship with him over the months, but was there more there that she hadn't considered before?
***
Mulder stood in the hallway outside Scully's apartment for a few minutes before knocking on the door. He was so nervous. He knew he had loved her for a long time, not only as a friend, but like family. He could trust her, and he didn't want to frighten her tonight by making an ass of himself. Should he tell her how much he cared? He had a feeling that she already knew, but just never talked about it. Just like she didn't talk about what was bothering her. Maybe it's me she's bothered about. No, he couldn't start worrying about what if's. He needed to get her to release the pain she was already feeling before introducing new problems.
He took a deep breath and knocked.
He heard soft footfalls inside the apartment and the slow turning of the door lock. The door opened, and he could only stare at Scully.
"Scully? Gee, you look..."
She grinned, "weird?"
He grinned back and shook his head, "great. You look great, Scully. I guess I'm just not used to you dressing like a bureau basement rat." His grin widened.
She kept smiling, but rolled her eyes in mock- exasperation. "Thanks...I think."
"Are you ready?"
She nodded, "Yeah. Lead the way to dinner, Mulder."
***
Kashmir was a little basement cafe-esque restaurant two blocks from Mulder's apartment. Four small tables sat out on the patio, surrounded by flowery vines which hid the cement walls behind them. Curry from inside the restaurant could be smelled at the curb, and faint Indian music piped through vine-hidden speakers to create more ambiance.
Scully smiled as she gathered first impressions. The restaurant looked nice. Hopefully the food was as good as the decor.
Mulder was talking to the host, and when the man left to check for a table, he smiled at Scully. He looked much more relaxed than usual. His eyes had a softer look to them. A small tingle of excitement and anticipation started in her chest as she followed the host to their table.
They sat silently for a couple minutes as they glanced through the menu. Neither wanted to break the silence, afraid to ruin the rarely encountered peacefulness around them.
Mulder was fighting the urge to squirm in his chair, however. He had so much to tell her. So much that he'd kept inside for far too long. But he was afraid of losing her again, and he knew he'd never live with himself if she pushed herself away. He finally decided he needed to say something...anything.
"I always get a kick out of the fact that Indian restaurants have a beef section on the menu. Seems a little out of place, doesn't it?" he asked in his normal sarcastic tone, finishing with a lopsided grin.
Scully raised and eyebrow in thought. She knew he was waiting for a retort, but this time, she couldn't find one. He'd actually made a rather interesting observation. No, wait a minute...
"Maybe it's a Moslem family," she said, shrugging.
"Except the Ganesha statue in the window kinda throws that idea out," he replied.
She nodded, impressed at how quickly he responded. She had noticed the embellished gold statue as they'd entered the building.
"Good point. Okay. So we won't order any beef since it wouldn't be real Indian food, she said.
She smiled again, letting herself relax. The tingle inside her had become a small flame, and she was curious to see what her subconscious was conjuring up for her.
They ordered their dinners and talked about recent non-work related events until the food arrived. Scully had visited her mom two weeks ago, and Mulder had talked to Melissa on the phone.
"She wants me to reconsider my aura again," he grumbled.
Scully laughed. "I heard that one a couple years ago. Was it something like, 'You know, Mulder, you really should reconsider how your spiritual life is going because if you don't concentrate on it, your aura will suffer.' Am I close?"
"Almost verbatim."
She shook her head. "I think she's got a crush on you," she chided.
Mulder rolled his eyes. "Oh no. Does this mean I'm going to have to deal with my aura sometime soon?"
"Probably not, unless you give her an idea that you're interested."
"And how do I not appear interested?"
"Tell her you're already dating someone."
Mulder raised an eyebrow, interested in where Scully was headed.
"Who?"
Scully bit her lip and looked down at the table for a moment.
"Me," she replied quietly.
Mulder took a few moments to let her "suggestion" sink in. She was embarrassed about what she'd just said. He could tell. But he noticed by how her eyes kept darting around nervously and how she was fidgeting that there was a hopefulness behind her words. He sighed. Maybe explaining his feelings wasn't going to be too tough after all.
***
After dinner, Mulder felt a need to just spend some quiet, peaceful time with Scully, and not go back to either of their apartments. He decided to take her to a familiar spot, hoping that maybe their past discussions on the park bench would help bring out the words he wanted to say.
The full moon peaked out from behind the top of the Washington Monument, as if it were posing for a postcard. It shone silently upon the reflecting pool, peacefully illuminating every ripple of the pool.
He walked quietly beside Scully, observing how her coppery hair sparkled in the moonlight. She hardly noticed him or her surroundings. Mulder recognized her mood-every once in a while, usually when she was here, she "fazed out," daydreaming about something that he'd never tried to press out of her.
He took in a long breath. She looked so different, almost unrecognizable. Her eyes had softened now that the usual work-related intensity was gone. She wore almost no expression, save inward peacefulness.
Her mind drifted back to reality as they strolled down the walkway. She became aware of Mulder's observations, lifted her eyes to him and smiled.
"Thanks, Mulder," she said softly.
He stopped walking.
"For what?" he asked, tipping his head in confusion.
Scully shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing specific, really. Just being there for me. I never really could figure out how to tell you how much I appreciate it. Even if you can be a little overprotective sometimes."
Mulder smiled back shyly and stared at the ground. She noticed how his usual FBI agent poise had melted away. A compassionate, and somewhat awkward- teenagerish man stood before her, hands in his pockets, trying to think of what to say.
He softly placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'll always be here for you, Scully."
Mentally, he was frustrated. He knew what he wanted to say. God, he had so much he wanted to tell her. But how to say it? He had to have everything just right. He nervously sucked in a sharp breath.
Scully sensed his discomfort. "You okay?"
His voice seemed distant when he replied. "Yeah, I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"Us."
And what is he thinking about us? Scully thought, smiling inwardly. They had talked once before about their relationship, but not very seriously. Obviously Mulder had thought a lot about this again.
"And?" she pressed.
"I don't know. I guess I just feel like friendship's not enough for me. I love you, Scully. I love you a lot. And I can't show it to you because of the Bureau, and because you'll get irritated and tell me to knock it off, and--"
"Mulder," Scully interrupted. "I wouldn't tell you to knock it off."
He blinked. "You wouldn't?"
She shook her head. "No. I'd be a little embarrassed if you did something really dramatic in public and everyone saw us, but I wouldn't be irritated."
Mulder studied her for a minute, but couldn't figure out what she was trying to say. His heart and mind fought a silent battle. Should he just clam back up and leave well enough alone? No, I.... um... I think you're too late for that. Good luck! He dropped his eyes again and absently kicked the sidewalk, waiting for some divine inspiration.
Scully shook her head, chuckling softly.
"I hate to think I might be your weakness, Mulder. I've never seen you acting so..."
"Nervous?" Mulder suggested.
"... normal," she finished.
He snorted sarcastically. "Thanks a lot."
Scully paused for a moment, deciding what to do next. Without telling her much of anything, she knew what he wanted to say. She reached up and brushed her hand against his cheek, letting her emotions speak through her eyes.
He reacted to her touch by leaning his head into her hand. Her expression became even softer and in a dreamy trance, making him realize the feelings she was trying to keep under control. She's an incurable romantic at heart .. but why is she trying to hide it? She's even more beautiful when she lets her heart shine through. He took her hands and brought them down until they were straight at her sides.
"I think I've found your weakness, too, Scully."
He leaned down, hands still interlocked with hers, and kissed her, wanting it to last long enough to bring out her romantic side. He felt her tense and almost pull away.
Oh shit... you scared her. Stupid. You ruined- His panic was stopped as her body relaxed. She returned the kiss with such intensity that he felt a warm energy flow throughout his body.
After several seconds, Mulder gently broke the kiss. Her eyes were still closed, her mind still immersed in the moment. A shy, embarrassed, but very happy smile spread across her lips as she opened her eyes.
"I think you found it, too, Mulder," she replied.
She saw his eyes look downward again, and sensed his discomfort. She knew that in that moment their relationship as partners and friends had changed permanently, and she didn't know how to redefine it. But she smiled inwardly as she observed his reactions. He's so nervous! He's acting like I'm the first woman he's ever kissed in his life. And I thought I was the one who wasn't sure what to do!
"Who'd would have thought that Dana Scully was a hopeless romantic under that FBI shell," he said, brushing back some unruly copper strands that had blown over her cheek.
"I think you're worse," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"Nah. About equal." He shivered as the wind began to pick up. "It's starting to get pretty chilly out here. Want to go somewhere warmer?"
Scully nodded. And what is he implying by that? Dana Katherine, don't you dare. It's too soon for ideas like that. "How about a movie at my place? I got a couple tapes from Blockbuster yesterday that I didn't have enough time to watch."
"What ones?"
She bit her lip, wondering what he'd think of her movie selection as she realized why she'd rented them. "Forever Young and Mad Max."
He blinked. "That's an interesting combo."
She shrugged. "I needed a Mel fix. You interested?"
"Sure. Mad Max first, though. I think Forever Young is probably a better movie to go to sleep on due to content. Unless you're able to ignore all the violence and just want to dream of Mel Gibson in leather jeans."
"Sounds good to me," she said, her eyes challenging him for a response.
Mulder rolled his eyes and shook his head. "This is going to be interesting, I can tell. I'll get a drool towel ready for you when we get to your apartment."
"Oh, I'm not that bad," she said, laughing. "Come on. Let's get inside."
They walked back to the care in silent contentment, hands still intertwined.
***
A little after midnight, Forever Young ended, and the tape began to rewind, leaving white snow on the T.V. screen. Mulder instinctively stretched his shoulders and yawned as he reached for the remote control. He glanced down at Scully, who had fallen asleep sometime in the middle of the movie. Her head rested weightlessly on his chest, her face relaxed in the enjoyment of a pleasant dream.
He softly ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it back into a silky mass behind her neck. He felt her stir slightly in response, but he knew she wasn't awake. He didn't want to wake her-she looked so content, so beautiful. But he didn't want to overstay his welcome and have her angry at him after such a wonderful evening.
"Hey Scully," he whispered into her ear, rubbing her back.
She took a deep breath. "Hmm?"
"Movie's over. Do you want to go back to your room and sleep?"
She turned over to look up at him. "What time is it?" she asked, still only half-awake.
"About quarter after twelve."
"That early? I must have been more worn out than I thought."
"You need the sleep, Scully. You work so hard all the time that I swear you're going to burn out if you don't slow down once in a while."
She shrugged. "All to keep up with you."
He grinned proudly, playing along with her. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"As intended." She sat up and stretched out her arms. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"
He paused for a moment. Was it a good idea? Scully's not one to say something she doesn't mean. You know that. "You don't mind?"
She shook her head. "Actually, I was kinda hoping you would." She bit her lip nervously as she waited for his answer.
"I was hoping you'd ask," he said, running his fingers through her hair again. "My spare set of sweats are still in the bottom drawer, right?"
"Unless you took them home."
He got up and followed her to her bedroom. She got into her closet to pull out the navy blue pj's she always wore and headed to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she reentered the room and found Mulder sitting on the chair by the window, looking out to the street. He turned when he heard her sit down on the bed near him.
"What are you thinking about, Mulder?" she asked quietly.
He shook his head. "Nothing. Just zoning out."
She glanced down at the floor for a moment and smiled. She raised her head again to look at him, her eyes asking him to come to her. He understood, getting up slowly and sitting down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.
"I love you, Dana."
She closed her eyes, letting his words sink in. "I love you, too, Fox." She kissed him on the cheek and crawled across the bed to pull down the covers. Once under them, she felt Mulder's arms wrap around her from behind and heard him sigh. She hugged his arms tighter around her as they both fell happily asleep.
End
--
****************************************************************
* "That's why we like you, Mulder. *
* Your ideas are weirder than ours." *
* Melissa Kent *
* mkent@acs.bu.edu, measi2@aol.com *
* Wiccan, Trekker, X-Phile, and definite klutz *
* THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE *
****************************************************************
God, I was such a sappy college student. Seriously. And WTF is my addiction with internal monologues? *snort* Funny, though - the restaurant is still there. I ate there about six months ago - and remembered this fic. India Quality in Kenmore is still better, but Kashmir isn't too bad.
Anyway, since this has never been tagged before...
Story: Hidden Emotions
Author: Measi
Characters: Mulder/Scully
Rating: PG-13ish... barely ish.
Disclaimer: Ten-Thirteen yadda yadda yadda - original under the cut.
Summary: sap, sap, sappidy sap sap.
From: mkent@bu.edu (Melissa Kent)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative
Subject: New Story: Hidden Emotions
Date: 25 Apr 1995 03:57:53 GMT
Usual disclaimers here-the X-Files, Scully, and Mulder are Chris Carter's. The story is my own. Anyone can distribute it freely as long as my name remains on it and no money is made off of it without me getting a part =).
This story doesn't contain sex, but is kinda mushy- romantic=). There is a slight bit of swearing, as well, so if this isn't your thing, please back out now=). This is my first attempt at fanfic ever (so please be gentle.... I'm a bit over-sensitive), so I would like any suggestions on how to improve it. Write to me at: mkent@acs.bu.edu. Enjoy! -Melissa
Hidden Emotions
by Melissa Kent
mkent@acs.bu.edu
4/24/95
Dana Scully sat staring at her computer screen, lost in a random daydream. Her entire week had been stressful, and she just wanted to go home and forget the last hour before the weekend began. She was sick of work, sick of schedules.
She needed a break.
The beep of the on-screen clock when the four o'clock hour arrived snapped her back to reality. She *had * to get this report done *today. * She didn't want to have any work to finish over the weekend.
Why can't I concentrate today? she wondered, sighing in frustration.
The door opened and Mulder walked in, munching on sunflower seeds.
"You look thrilled, Scully," he said sarcastically when he noticed her expression.
She nodded. "Yeah. Real thrilled. I just can't seem to get this report done."
Mulder leaned against his desk and crossed his arms.
"Anything wrong?"
"Nothing serious. I just really need a break."
"So go home early," he said, shrugging.
She shook her head.
"No. I don't want to bring anything home with me this weekend. I don't want to have to worry about anything this weekend. I just want to relax, have nothing to do, and just...well, veg out for a while."
Mulder grinned. "Veg out? Gee, there's a phrase I'd never expect from you."
"I'm full of surprises."
Mulder nodded, impressed.
"So do you need help on it? All of the cataloging is done for the week, and nothing came up today. What do you have left?"
Scully picked up five sheets of paper.
"Just these. I just need to make reports out of them."
Mulder took them and skimmed through each, walking back to his desk. He turned on his computer and sat down.
"Okay. No problem. You work on that one, and I'll start on these, and we'll get through them, okay?" he said.
She nodded with a slight smile, and turned back to her screen. The cursor just kept blinking. blink......blink.......blink. Dana...come on. Snap out of it. Just get it done. Only one page left, and everything's right in front of you. Come on. She typed a few words and stopped again for a moment before Mulder interrupted her.
"Hey-are you sure you're okay, Scully?"
She sighed. "Yeah. I'm just tired, Mulder."
He got up and walked over to her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he looked at what she had typed.
"Looks fine to me. Go home."
"Mulder, it's not done. I..."
"Go home, Scully. I'll finish them. You need to take a break. Don't worry about it," he said, trying to make himself sound as forceful as possible without insulting her.
Scully ran her right hand through her hair and sighed again. She knew he was right. She needed the break. But she didn't want to leave her work unfinished for the week. She hated leaving things unfinished.
"No. I'll get it done. Just make sure I don't drift off, okay?"
Mulder shrugged again.
"Fine. Fine. Gee, you are so stubborn sometimes."
She grinned up at him, receiving a rolled-eye response from Mulder that was almost the same as the ones she had given him so many times for being pigheaded. She laughed inwardly, and returned to her screen.
The rest of the report went smoothly. Once she finished another paragraph, she felt it looked right. She ran her word processor's spell-check, and set the pages up to print.
"How are you doing?" she asked, turning to Mulder.
He spun around to face her. "Fine. Two of these really aren't ready to be typed up yet. I wanted to talk to Skinner about them on Monday. The other ones I'll get done later. But the long one's done."
"Good. What time is it?"
"Quarter to five. You done?"
"Yeah, finally. It's printing, and then I'll take off."
She walked over to the printer, took the pages from the collecting tray, and placed them back in their case folder. Then she switched off her computer and got her things together.
"Okay, I'm going. I'll see you Monday.
He nodded. "See you later."
Scully left the room, feeling the weight of the week's events disappear with each step toward the stairs.
***
Mulder leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling in thought. He was worried about Scully. Really worried. Lately she had seemed so stressed out and distant. He wondered if the recent cases were starting to get to her. No, he knew they were starting to get to her. Hell, in one year she had been kidnapped and chained to a radiator, had Tooms try to kill her in her bathroom, been abducted without memory of what happened while she was gone, and then encountered Pfaster.
And finally had been overwhelmed.
Mulder remembered taking her into his arms at Pfasters house, letting her release the fear, the anger. He hadn't said anything, but he had been there for her when she needed him. And that made him feel closer to her than he had been to anyone else in a long time. But he was still worried that she needed to get away from the X-Files because they were affecting her so personally.
He rolled out of his chair and paced the room as he tried to figure out what to do. He continued back and forth in frustration, running his hand through his hair. And then an idea came to him.
***
Scully locked the door to her apartment with a decisive click. She was home for the weekend, away from all of the horrifying and paranormal events that she had to deal with for over forty hours a week. She wanted to get away from everything for the next two and a half days and forget the events that bothered her so much.
She proceeded to the kitchen and filled the teapot with water. A soothing mug of herbal tea and a romantic movie was exactly what she wanted and needed to relax. She turned on the burner and put the teapot on it before finding a movie to watch.
Yeah. That sounds good. I need something funny. When Harry Met Sally is perfect for this. Or do I want to watch Sleepless in Seattle? Oh, what the hell, I'll watch both, she thought as she skim read the titles on her bookshelf.
The teapot whistled, and she hurried back to the kitchen. She grabbed her favorite mug, an off-white one with rose-colored hearts that she had received in college from her mom as the vase of an FTD floral arrangement. She picked out a packet of mint tea, placed it in the mug, and carefully poured some of the steaming water over it. The smell was wonderful---a fresh cup of mint tea always had a clean fragrance about it that relaxed her and cleared her head of all of her problems.
She sighed, contented that the weekend was starting, and returned to the living room. She put the tape of When Harry Met Sally in the VCR and plopped onto the couch, sinking into the pillows.
Then the phone rang.
Irritated at the interruption, she paused the tape and muted the TV. She picked up the cordless phone and plopped back onto the couch.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Scully. Do you want to do something together tonight?"
Mulder was concerned about her. She could tell by the underlying worry behind the pleasantness in his voice. She really didn't feel like going out, but maybe forcing herself to do something to keep occupied would help her relax. She bit her lip before responding.
"Um...what do you have in mind?"
"Dinner and a movie. There's a new Indian restaurant near my place that I've needed an excuse to go to. You up to it?"
She smiled and paused again to think. Why not? Mulder's offering food that actually is food and not that fast food stuff we're always eating.
"Yeah, I guess so. When?"
She swore she heard him sigh in relief.
"Pick you up in a half hour."
"Okay. Oh...is this dressy or casual?"
"Definitely casual. In fact, Sunday afternoon t-shirt and jeans is probably the best way to go. Curry has a habit of making a fascinating stain that never ends on clothes."
Scully chuckled inwardly. As time had passed with them working together, she had begun to accept and even appreciate his dry humor.
"Okay. See you in about thirty minutes," Mulder said over the phone, a slight hint of excitement in his voice before he hung up.
Scully softly returned the phone to the charging unit. Mulder was taking her out for dinner. No, Dana. He's taking you out on a date. How long has it been since you've been on an honest-to-God date? She was excited, nervous... she felt like she was a teenager who'd just been asked out for the first time. What was she going to wear? He said that it was a jeans and t-shirt type date, but should she dress a little nicer anyway? She thumbed through the hangers in her closet, and finally decided on a oversized black thermal shirt and jeans. She changed quickly and glanced back at the clock. Five minutes until he arrived. Relax, Dana. It's only Mulder. That was the problem, she realized. It was *Mulder. * Not some random person she had met. This was her partner, who she spent almost all of her time with.
She let her mind wander through romantic fantasies about her partner as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. Dana, stop it. It's Mulder, remember? You do have to work with him again after tonight. You're not a teenager anymore. Act like an adult, will you? She giggled a little, looking at herself in the mirror. She even looked like teenager with her hair up and the relaxed-look clothes.
She heard the pause on the TV go off, and the talk show on the channel blast through the apartment. She rushed over to it and switched it off, experiencing a momentary ringing in her ears once the silence returned. She noticed the still-full cup on tea on the coffee table and picked it up to finish it. The liquid was now lukewarm, and tasted bitter because the teabag was still in the mug. She gulped down most of it, but decided to pour the last third into the sink.
Two soft knocks on the front door made her heart begin to pound. She took a deep breath and walked over to the door. Why was she so nervous? Was it because of Mulder? She knew she had developed a strong friendship with him over the months, but was there more there that she hadn't considered before?
***
Mulder stood in the hallway outside Scully's apartment for a few minutes before knocking on the door. He was so nervous. He knew he had loved her for a long time, not only as a friend, but like family. He could trust her, and he didn't want to frighten her tonight by making an ass of himself. Should he tell her how much he cared? He had a feeling that she already knew, but just never talked about it. Just like she didn't talk about what was bothering her. Maybe it's me she's bothered about. No, he couldn't start worrying about what if's. He needed to get her to release the pain she was already feeling before introducing new problems.
He took a deep breath and knocked.
He heard soft footfalls inside the apartment and the slow turning of the door lock. The door opened, and he could only stare at Scully.
"Scully? Gee, you look..."
She grinned, "weird?"
He grinned back and shook his head, "great. You look great, Scully. I guess I'm just not used to you dressing like a bureau basement rat." His grin widened.
She kept smiling, but rolled her eyes in mock- exasperation. "Thanks...I think."
"Are you ready?"
She nodded, "Yeah. Lead the way to dinner, Mulder."
***
Kashmir was a little basement cafe-esque restaurant two blocks from Mulder's apartment. Four small tables sat out on the patio, surrounded by flowery vines which hid the cement walls behind them. Curry from inside the restaurant could be smelled at the curb, and faint Indian music piped through vine-hidden speakers to create more ambiance.
Scully smiled as she gathered first impressions. The restaurant looked nice. Hopefully the food was as good as the decor.
Mulder was talking to the host, and when the man left to check for a table, he smiled at Scully. He looked much more relaxed than usual. His eyes had a softer look to them. A small tingle of excitement and anticipation started in her chest as she followed the host to their table.
They sat silently for a couple minutes as they glanced through the menu. Neither wanted to break the silence, afraid to ruin the rarely encountered peacefulness around them.
Mulder was fighting the urge to squirm in his chair, however. He had so much to tell her. So much that he'd kept inside for far too long. But he was afraid of losing her again, and he knew he'd never live with himself if she pushed herself away. He finally decided he needed to say something...anything.
"I always get a kick out of the fact that Indian restaurants have a beef section on the menu. Seems a little out of place, doesn't it?" he asked in his normal sarcastic tone, finishing with a lopsided grin.
Scully raised and eyebrow in thought. She knew he was waiting for a retort, but this time, she couldn't find one. He'd actually made a rather interesting observation. No, wait a minute...
"Maybe it's a Moslem family," she said, shrugging.
"Except the Ganesha statue in the window kinda throws that idea out," he replied.
She nodded, impressed at how quickly he responded. She had noticed the embellished gold statue as they'd entered the building.
"Good point. Okay. So we won't order any beef since it wouldn't be real Indian food, she said.
She smiled again, letting herself relax. The tingle inside her had become a small flame, and she was curious to see what her subconscious was conjuring up for her.
They ordered their dinners and talked about recent non-work related events until the food arrived. Scully had visited her mom two weeks ago, and Mulder had talked to Melissa on the phone.
"She wants me to reconsider my aura again," he grumbled.
Scully laughed. "I heard that one a couple years ago. Was it something like, 'You know, Mulder, you really should reconsider how your spiritual life is going because if you don't concentrate on it, your aura will suffer.' Am I close?"
"Almost verbatim."
She shook her head. "I think she's got a crush on you," she chided.
Mulder rolled his eyes. "Oh no. Does this mean I'm going to have to deal with my aura sometime soon?"
"Probably not, unless you give her an idea that you're interested."
"And how do I not appear interested?"
"Tell her you're already dating someone."
Mulder raised an eyebrow, interested in where Scully was headed.
"Who?"
Scully bit her lip and looked down at the table for a moment.
"Me," she replied quietly.
Mulder took a few moments to let her "suggestion" sink in. She was embarrassed about what she'd just said. He could tell. But he noticed by how her eyes kept darting around nervously and how she was fidgeting that there was a hopefulness behind her words. He sighed. Maybe explaining his feelings wasn't going to be too tough after all.
***
After dinner, Mulder felt a need to just spend some quiet, peaceful time with Scully, and not go back to either of their apartments. He decided to take her to a familiar spot, hoping that maybe their past discussions on the park bench would help bring out the words he wanted to say.
The full moon peaked out from behind the top of the Washington Monument, as if it were posing for a postcard. It shone silently upon the reflecting pool, peacefully illuminating every ripple of the pool.
He walked quietly beside Scully, observing how her coppery hair sparkled in the moonlight. She hardly noticed him or her surroundings. Mulder recognized her mood-every once in a while, usually when she was here, she "fazed out," daydreaming about something that he'd never tried to press out of her.
He took in a long breath. She looked so different, almost unrecognizable. Her eyes had softened now that the usual work-related intensity was gone. She wore almost no expression, save inward peacefulness.
Her mind drifted back to reality as they strolled down the walkway. She became aware of Mulder's observations, lifted her eyes to him and smiled.
"Thanks, Mulder," she said softly.
He stopped walking.
"For what?" he asked, tipping his head in confusion.
Scully shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing specific, really. Just being there for me. I never really could figure out how to tell you how much I appreciate it. Even if you can be a little overprotective sometimes."
Mulder smiled back shyly and stared at the ground. She noticed how his usual FBI agent poise had melted away. A compassionate, and somewhat awkward- teenagerish man stood before her, hands in his pockets, trying to think of what to say.
He softly placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'll always be here for you, Scully."
Mentally, he was frustrated. He knew what he wanted to say. God, he had so much he wanted to tell her. But how to say it? He had to have everything just right. He nervously sucked in a sharp breath.
Scully sensed his discomfort. "You okay?"
His voice seemed distant when he replied. "Yeah, I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"Us."
And what is he thinking about us? Scully thought, smiling inwardly. They had talked once before about their relationship, but not very seriously. Obviously Mulder had thought a lot about this again.
"And?" she pressed.
"I don't know. I guess I just feel like friendship's not enough for me. I love you, Scully. I love you a lot. And I can't show it to you because of the Bureau, and because you'll get irritated and tell me to knock it off, and--"
"Mulder," Scully interrupted. "I wouldn't tell you to knock it off."
He blinked. "You wouldn't?"
She shook her head. "No. I'd be a little embarrassed if you did something really dramatic in public and everyone saw us, but I wouldn't be irritated."
Mulder studied her for a minute, but couldn't figure out what she was trying to say. His heart and mind fought a silent battle. Should he just clam back up and leave well enough alone? No, I.... um... I think you're too late for that. Good luck! He dropped his eyes again and absently kicked the sidewalk, waiting for some divine inspiration.
Scully shook her head, chuckling softly.
"I hate to think I might be your weakness, Mulder. I've never seen you acting so..."
"Nervous?" Mulder suggested.
"... normal," she finished.
He snorted sarcastically. "Thanks a lot."
Scully paused for a moment, deciding what to do next. Without telling her much of anything, she knew what he wanted to say. She reached up and brushed her hand against his cheek, letting her emotions speak through her eyes.
He reacted to her touch by leaning his head into her hand. Her expression became even softer and in a dreamy trance, making him realize the feelings she was trying to keep under control. She's an incurable romantic at heart .. but why is she trying to hide it? She's even more beautiful when she lets her heart shine through. He took her hands and brought them down until they were straight at her sides.
"I think I've found your weakness, too, Scully."
He leaned down, hands still interlocked with hers, and kissed her, wanting it to last long enough to bring out her romantic side. He felt her tense and almost pull away.
Oh shit... you scared her. Stupid. You ruined- His panic was stopped as her body relaxed. She returned the kiss with such intensity that he felt a warm energy flow throughout his body.
After several seconds, Mulder gently broke the kiss. Her eyes were still closed, her mind still immersed in the moment. A shy, embarrassed, but very happy smile spread across her lips as she opened her eyes.
"I think you found it, too, Mulder," she replied.
She saw his eyes look downward again, and sensed his discomfort. She knew that in that moment their relationship as partners and friends had changed permanently, and she didn't know how to redefine it. But she smiled inwardly as she observed his reactions. He's so nervous! He's acting like I'm the first woman he's ever kissed in his life. And I thought I was the one who wasn't sure what to do!
"Who'd would have thought that Dana Scully was a hopeless romantic under that FBI shell," he said, brushing back some unruly copper strands that had blown over her cheek.
"I think you're worse," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"Nah. About equal." He shivered as the wind began to pick up. "It's starting to get pretty chilly out here. Want to go somewhere warmer?"
Scully nodded. And what is he implying by that? Dana Katherine, don't you dare. It's too soon for ideas like that. "How about a movie at my place? I got a couple tapes from Blockbuster yesterday that I didn't have enough time to watch."
"What ones?"
She bit her lip, wondering what he'd think of her movie selection as she realized why she'd rented them. "Forever Young and Mad Max."
He blinked. "That's an interesting combo."
She shrugged. "I needed a Mel fix. You interested?"
"Sure. Mad Max first, though. I think Forever Young is probably a better movie to go to sleep on due to content. Unless you're able to ignore all the violence and just want to dream of Mel Gibson in leather jeans."
"Sounds good to me," she said, her eyes challenging him for a response.
Mulder rolled his eyes and shook his head. "This is going to be interesting, I can tell. I'll get a drool towel ready for you when we get to your apartment."
"Oh, I'm not that bad," she said, laughing. "Come on. Let's get inside."
They walked back to the care in silent contentment, hands still intertwined.
***
A little after midnight, Forever Young ended, and the tape began to rewind, leaving white snow on the T.V. screen. Mulder instinctively stretched his shoulders and yawned as he reached for the remote control. He glanced down at Scully, who had fallen asleep sometime in the middle of the movie. Her head rested weightlessly on his chest, her face relaxed in the enjoyment of a pleasant dream.
He softly ran his fingers through her hair, brushing it back into a silky mass behind her neck. He felt her stir slightly in response, but he knew she wasn't awake. He didn't want to wake her-she looked so content, so beautiful. But he didn't want to overstay his welcome and have her angry at him after such a wonderful evening.
"Hey Scully," he whispered into her ear, rubbing her back.
She took a deep breath. "Hmm?"
"Movie's over. Do you want to go back to your room and sleep?"
She turned over to look up at him. "What time is it?" she asked, still only half-awake.
"About quarter after twelve."
"That early? I must have been more worn out than I thought."
"You need the sleep, Scully. You work so hard all the time that I swear you're going to burn out if you don't slow down once in a while."
She shrugged. "All to keep up with you."
He grinned proudly, playing along with her. "I'll take that as a compliment."
"As intended." She sat up and stretched out her arms. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"
He paused for a moment. Was it a good idea? Scully's not one to say something she doesn't mean. You know that. "You don't mind?"
She shook her head. "Actually, I was kinda hoping you would." She bit her lip nervously as she waited for his answer.
"I was hoping you'd ask," he said, running his fingers through her hair again. "My spare set of sweats are still in the bottom drawer, right?"
"Unless you took them home."
He got up and followed her to her bedroom. She got into her closet to pull out the navy blue pj's she always wore and headed to the bathroom. A few minutes later, she reentered the room and found Mulder sitting on the chair by the window, looking out to the street. He turned when he heard her sit down on the bed near him.
"What are you thinking about, Mulder?" she asked quietly.
He shook his head. "Nothing. Just zoning out."
She glanced down at the floor for a moment and smiled. She raised her head again to look at him, her eyes asking him to come to her. He understood, getting up slowly and sitting down beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.
"I love you, Dana."
She closed her eyes, letting his words sink in. "I love you, too, Fox." She kissed him on the cheek and crawled across the bed to pull down the covers. Once under them, she felt Mulder's arms wrap around her from behind and heard him sigh. She hugged his arms tighter around her as they both fell happily asleep.
End
--
****************************************************************
* "That's why we like you, Mulder. *
* Your ideas are weirder than ours." *
* Melissa Kent *
* mkent@acs.bu.edu, measi2@aol.com *
* Wiccan, Trekker, X-Phile, and definite klutz *
* THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE *
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Date: 2007-06-22 09:46 pm (UTC)